The couple and the bread
On the morning after his wedding, Ari picked up a bread roll and tore it in half along the length. He looked at the soft fluffy top, the slightly burned bottom and thought “I can’t possibly give my new wife the worst piece”. He passed Ash the top, and was surprised to have her look at him confused. He put it out of his mind and had the first of many happy breakfasts.
The next day they did the same. And the day after. Until it became a tradition, that lasted through the seasons and the years until 30 years had passed since their wedding. 30 years of him handing her the nice top of the bread. 30 years of her never seeming pleased.
Ari sat down once again, and on instinct halved the bread and graciously passed the top to Ash. Once again she looked at him oddly, just like every morning. He’d been so generous. For so many years. Day after day eating the grizzly bottom of the roll and not once had she thanked him. Not once. This was it:
It’s been 30 goddamn years of me giving you the top of the bread, and not once have you thanked me or shown any kind of appreciation. So I’m done. I’m going to have the top piece and you can make do with the other half.
Ash stared at him as her face changed from anger through confusion to laughter.
But Ari, I like the bottom of the bread.
What does this have to do with me?
We often see the available work at our jobs as either “good work” or “bad work”. We have to do our fair share of the bad work, and we shouldn’t hog the good work.
But this is often not true. As you slog through writing tests, creating documentation or fixing bugs, there’s often someone else who really enjoys doing that work. Yes, sometimes there will be times when there is work that noone enjoys, but it’s a lot less common than you think.
It’s critical for everyone to focus on work that that they find interesting, but it’s massively moreso for ADHDers.
There are concrete steps you can take to try and make sure you don’t end up eating someone else’s favourite piece of bread.
Actions!
When you feel asked, told or compelled to take on work you don’t like very much:
Explain that you’re happy to take on work you don’t enjoy when it’s necessary.
Make it clear you don’t enjoy this kind of work, so it’d be great if there was other work available.
But you’re still happy to do it if that’s what’s required.
When you see or think of work that would be interesting:
Explain what you’re excited about.
Tell them you’d like to do that work if possible.
These are simple steps, but ones that can feel very awkward, and will require some practice to become natural.
But, at the end of the process, hopefully you have a lot more exciting work to do, and spend a lot less of your time toiling away.
